2009-03-04T11:21:00.000-08:00

I forgive myself for allowing myself to feel ashamed of being on welfare.

I forgive myself for allowing myself to feel ashamed of going on disability.

I forgive myself for allowing myself to feel as though I was never capable of taking care of myself.

I forgive myself for allowing myself to feel justified in going on disability

I forgive myself for allowing myself to use my condition as an excuse to not be able to take care of myself.

I forgive myself for allowing myself to be made upset by my condition.

I forgive myself for allowing myself to feel regret about my decision.

I forgive myself for allowing myself to never really have any confidence in myself.

I forgive myself for allowing myself to be less then in order to make another feel more then and in witch may accept me into the crowd.

I forgive myself for allowing myself to "think" I need anything or anybody but me.

I forgive myself for allowing myself to feel as thought there is anybody els!

I forgive myself for allowing myself to use the expression of the systems in my words, as I apply self forgiveness I become more aware of them.

I forgive myself for allowing myself to not be one and equal with everything or anybody around me cause of the expressions of separation in my words.

I forgive myself for allowing myself to belief I am alone, Scared, dis-honest, full of fear, I accept it as me there for how can I be alone,

I forgive myself for allowing myself to love myself selfishly, I am one and equal to all SELF is not this one fucking body!!

I forgive myself for allowing myself to limit self to one single entity.

I forgive myself for allowing myself to belief I am limited to this body, when I am not.

My Porcess

2009-03-03T07:42:00.000-08:00

Who I am and what Ive become can only be seen with self honesty, I can try to justifie a thought or feeling or emotion but that is of the mind, To STOP and breathe is key to finding your self honesty, seeing the movements from the inside out. Ive been questioning my existence for to long, Trying to label this life with a mind concept, not understanding that life can not be measured by the mind, that no label can ever settle the battle of the minds, So I found a tool, it a a great tool to use, it hasn't answered any questions for me instead it was left up to me, this tool was desteni, it provided me with the awareness necessary to looking only inside instead out. So what is there to know?-- you are here thats all you will ever really KNOW, other then that good luck trying to KNOW, Cause the only things we have ever known is are self's and that's it

I found desteni cause I was searching for myself, I wanted to KNOW that I was not my thoughts and that I would never really act out on my thoughts, They were nasty sometimes out of the blue, Like were the fuck did that come from? Stuff that made me really question who I was, I didnt want to be a killer or rapist I wanted to be a lover I wanted to help people not destroy them, but my thoughts painted a different picture and this scared the shit outta me, I wasn't going to allow myself to become my thoughts, So here I am expressing in self honesty, in hopes of revealing more to myself about myself,

SELF Process

My Porcess